Okay, once again I'm at home, and without something meaningful or interesting to write about. So I may as well write a blog entry on something that I have an on-off interest with; wrestling. I can't remember when exactly I stopped watching it regularly, but I think it's around the time Hulk Hogan came into TNA and changed the ring from six sides to four, WWE was starting to push one of the Spirit Squad, in the form of Dolph Ziggler, and the rest of the ECW originals were being put to pasture. After that, I only get updated on current wrestling events from friends who still watch it, and the odd PPV, especially Royal Rumble.
I can't remember the last time I watched an entire episode of Raw, now that I'm not living at home, and have no access to Sky Sports. And it had gotten to a point that wrestling was starting to bore me to the point that I wasn't even interested in the computer games anymore, which I bought on a yearly basis, except for the last one. I started asking myself who half the the roster was nowadays, along with questioning why certain wrestlers still have a job (Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger, That Little Bastard Hornswaggle), and there was nothing to bring me back to watching wrestling on a regular basis.
But considering that it was the 1000th episode of Raw, and it was the first of its 3 hour long runtime, I was intrigued as to what the episode had to offer. As I'm in no way going to write an indepth review of the episode, considering it's almost one week old, and I have don't have the current knowledge of the programming anymore, I'm just gonna summarize what thoughts were going through my head while watching it.
D-X Reunion
The segment was the usual nostalgia mixed with self referential injokes, and I have no idea who the hell Damien Sandow is, but he seems to be good on the mike, so I have no problem with his character, even though it's been seen many times before (see Chris Nowinski, The Genius, and strangely enough, Hunter Hearst Helmsley).
I just thought it was funny that they brought everyone from D-X except Chyna. Then again, I don't think they can bring her in to promote the Avengers XXX movie.
And I thought the Playboy shoots were disturbing.
1st Match/JR cameo
I must say, I did not miss the constant plugs for BBQ sauce, or references to "slobberknockers", although I dig his goatee. And while I understand Y2J's role as enhancement talent these days, what with his commitments to Fozzy, I just wish it wasn't to push Dolph Ziggler. I'm sorry, but he will always be that guy from the male cheerleading squad.
WWE Tout
Ugh.....moving on.....
Charlie Sheen
Really? I don't know who is more desperate for publicity, Charlie Sheen or the WWE. Sure he's one step above Kevin Federline, but.....jeez.
2nd Match/Brodus Clay's Theme Tune
I'm sorry, but everytime I hear that tune, my mind goes back to Ernest "The Cat" Miller's unfortunate spell in WWE (see video below). But on the plus side, it's good to know that Jack Swagger has been reduced to jobber status. Now if only Dolph Ziggler would suffer the same fate.
The Wedding/The Rock
Okay the whole wedding angle has been done to death, but I guess it's something to end a current storyline, and I do get a kick out of seeing American Dragon.....I MEAN, Bryan Danielson.....I MEAN, Daniel Bryan, getting decent screen time, considering that match he had at Wrestlemania with Sheamus. I still don't know who he pissed off backstage to be reduced to a joke.
And I like the interaction between him, CM Punk and The Rock, and is a nice teaser for the Royal Rumble next year. As for AJ being the Raw general manager.....well, considering that the general manager thing has become a joke at this stage, I have no real opinion of it. Although I wish I saw the episode where The Muppets were the general managers.
3rd Match/Bret Hart cameo
Nice to see Bret Hart at the show, even if it was a bit pointless. As for The Miz being the Intercontinental Champion, well, I suppose they've always wanted to push him whenever possible, ever since his attempts at winning Tough Enough. Other than that, he doesn't bother me that much, but I think that's more to do with my lack of interest in the current wrestling product.
ANOTHER Triple H promo
This brought me back to the Evolution days, where Triple H would shite on for 20-30 minutes on Raw. I guess when you're the son in law of the owner of WWE, it's one of the perks. I do have some respect for Brock Lesnar, but he still looks like a baby in a sumo suit. But it was great to see Paul Heyman onscreen, as I always enjoyed his persona and his mic skills, along with respect for his writing not just with ECW, but when he was the writer on Smackdown.
Stone Cold vs McMahon segment
Hmm, maybe there's a reason why Steve Austin was not present, but I'm too lazy to do a Google Search to find out why.
Hornswaggle
Seriously, WHY is he still there?
4th Match/Legends
I only know of Heath Slater through watching one episode of NXT, and I guess he's doing the Randy Orton way of going against the "legends". But unsuccessfully from the looks of it. Whether he's supposed to be a joke, I'm not sure. But I do get a kick of seeing former wrestlers from the past throughout the show, and how could you not love Faarooq/Ron Simmons' contribution at the end?
As for Lita.....yeah, I still would.
Wocka Wocka Wocka!
And yes, I "popped" for the appearance of Fozzie Bear. Of all the wrestlers, new and old, along with the celebrity cameos, that have appeared so far, the one that brought a smile to my face, that filled my little heart with joy, was Fozzie. What can I say? I love the Muppets.
The Mini Edges
It's funny how one is still being pushed as a main character on the show (Zack Ryder), while the other (Curt Hawkins) seems to have been reduced to a lackey for Muhammad Hassan.....or whoever that guy in the turban was. Sweet jebus, have they not learned that this 80s stereotype doesn't work anymore? Especially after that attack on the Undertaker, which coincided with London bombings years ago? Speaking of the Undertaker.....
Brothers Of Destruction
Damned if I know if this was meant to be a match, but I've always liked The Undertaker and Kane, even if they did face off against a bunch of "jabronies".
Charlie Sheen vs Daniel Bryan?
.....REALLY?????
6th Match/Finale
Admittedly, I skipped towards the end of the match, as I didn't feel there was any point to watching a match where anyone could easily predict the outcome. So I skipped to the point where CM Punk attacked The Rock. Well, at least I know who will be squaring off then come Royal Rumble.
Verdict
I wondered how Raw would pull off a 3 hour show. So from what I gather, what they need to fill 3 hours is as follows:
30 minutes of actual wrestling
30 minutes of ads
2 hours of constant talking
Which is why I've never been a fan of the TV shows that WWE produce. If I wanted to watch actual wrestling, I'll just stick to the PPVs. But if the show is 3 hours long, how long will the PPVs be? And I'm also surprised Smackdown hasn't been scrapped as of yet, considering the constant interchanging of talent between the two shows.
And on a final note.....
Well, this has admittedly become a rubbish blog entry, but I'm tired and a little pissy, so I needed to do something to occupy my time. I was going to find a clip of what made me laugh during the show (as I need something to cheer me up at the moment), but I stumbled upon this advertisment for the 1000th episode. This should do the trick:
I felt this was going to happen. I start off a blog with the intention of updating it every now and then, and now it has prematurely come to a halt. Well, since I'm stuck at home on a Saturday night, and I've completed "X-Men: Destiny" twice in the space of three days, I may as well write about something that I was meaning to write about. Despite the fact that I was meant to read up more on this topic, and I'm in danger of speaking from a personal standpoint, but I may as well type in a half "stream of consciousness" style, half posting referential links.
Around the time I hit 30, I had, for want of a better term, a midlife crisis. When I say "for want of a better term", after I told family, friends, people I cut out of my life (using the "midlife crisis" angle to reinforce my reasons for doing so), I had looked up the term "Midlife Crisis". Apparently I'm "too young" to be having one, and reading some articles on dealing with it always came up with the usual stereotypes, such as buying the fancy car, dressing differently, trying to recapture youth, and so forth. And these articles are directed at those with the family, kids, mortgage, career etc.
But I don't fall into that category at all. I feel old, now that I'm no longer in my twenties. I've been told by everyone (by which I mean family, friends, work colleagues) that I'm not old, that I'm making a big deal of being 30 ("it's only a number", "you're still young"). Do I feel old because I'm dissatisfied with my life? I guess so. But I'm sure those people who are in the 40s and 50s feel the same way, hence why they are permitted to suffer a "midlife crisis".
Image taken from "The Sun" website.
If they can "copy & paste" then so can I.
And before you ask "why don't you do something about it", in reference to my dissatisfaction with my life? Long story short: I made a plan around the time I hit 30, I hoped to make great strides by the end of this year, but I hit a few snags (relating to personal and health issues, along with some unfortunate circumstances), and now I've gone down not to square "1", but square "-100". So I'm just gonna leave it at that.
It was during this shitstorm that life, for whatever reason, loves to throw at me, that I read an article in the Metro Herald that people my age are now experiencing midlife crisis. So that gave me some sort of validation in my self prognosis in what I was currently experiencing. I began to find the article on the internet, but when I saw the article replicated on Fox News and The Irish Sun, I began to become skeptical. Especially with the last article, when the Sun just replaced "Australian" with "Irish" in the text.
It was during this time that I was introduced to the concept of Quarter-Life Crisis. I had never heard of the term before, but it seemed to be around for quite a while. So now I am comparing and contrasting these two depressing stages one may suffer in their lifetime, and I'm thinking to myself; do these even exist after all? Now, I'm not one of these people who would lambast a type of mental illness or disorder such as depression or seasonal affective disorder, saying that they don't exist. It's easy for people to criticise something that they have not experienced, or have no knowledge of. While I have never suffered from Coulrophobia, I would never give out about people who say they do.
And if I was to make fun of the subject, I would put it down to the titles themselves. If what I am going through is a midlife crisis, would that mean I'll die when I'm 60? But if it's a quarter-life crisis, does that mean I''ll die when I'm 120? Yes I'm being pedantic, but hey, I'm trying to inject a little bit of my sense of humour at this point, even if may be a little sarcastic. Maybe I should leave the jokes to this guy.
Apologies to those who suffer from Coulrophobia.
My reason for questioning the existence of these life crises, is that both of them are pretty similar, yet both are divided by age groups. I feel like I'm going through a midlife crisis, but if this is actually a quarter-life crisis, then I fucking dread to think what would happen when the actual midlife crisis happens. Call me skeptical, but the term "quarter-life crisis" sounds like it was invented by a hypochondriac who is making an excuse as to how their life has turned out. But the same can be said for those who are in the "proper" age group for the midlife crisis.
Sure we all suffer setbacks, hardships and regrets in our lifetimes, to which the most critical of people would the cliched phrase, "that's life". But these can also result in a crisis of faith in ones self. Life is hard enough as it is, so much that it can be hard to put into words. Which is why I was comfortable with the term "midlife crisis", which gave me an understanding as to what I'm going through, which could develop the mindset that if I am unhappy with the first half of my life, then maybe I should do something about the second. But if I am actually going through a quarter-life crisis, then in my mind, I've a long way to go before the real pain in life begins.
So whatever it is that I'm going through, call it midlife crisis, call it quarter-life crisis; but I have a more fitting title for it.....a pain in the ass.
And on a final note.....
In an another attempt to inject some humour into this piece, even at this late stage, I'm gonna post my favourite Faith No More song. The title of this track is fitting after all.
Just thought I'd have a bit of fun, because it's July 4th. Which is.....
FUCK YEAH!
Gotta get me of of them.....or any nationality for that matter.....
Nothing more American than this guy.....well, except maybe The Punisher.....
No wait, I take that back.....
Here's something from America.....
I saw this in the cinema two days ago. I wonder if it's historically accurate.....
This guy is so American, even his name is Mr. America.....hmm, there's something oddly familiar about him.....
If that guy was Mr. America, then I say this woman should be Mrs. America. She may have turned 45 last Sunday, but I still would.....wait a minute, isn't she Canadian.....
And now, please rise for our National Anthem.....even though I'm not American.....
In an effort to keep this blog going, I am going to attempt to write an album review. I currently have an idea that originated from something I touched upon in my last blog entry. While I do have a record of some source material and references from the net (which brought me back to doing essays during my college years), it's something I would need a bit of time to write during a weekend, especially as I need to figure out how to go about it without giving too much away in terms of my private life. Also, I've been busy with work, birthdays, meeting old friends, weekend plans hospital visits and my ongoing battle with insomnia and disturbed sleep patterns. So, I decided to do something that came into my head a while back, but seems like a good idea for an article theme.
.....jeez, I hope to do away with these elongated intros once I have this blog up and running to some type of structure. Anyways, here is an explanation to the title of this blog entry.
A while back, I was thinking of how disillusioned by music nowadays, and how hard it is to find something that would interest me, whether it be newly released, or something from the past that I was never exposed to for some reason. In this day and age where the internet can provide you with music at the click of a button, legal or illegal, sometimes it's hard to know where to start. MTV has turned into a bunch of pointless reality shows that it's lost all meaning of its acronym (with it's only saving grace being re-runs of "Fresh Prince Of Bel Air".....yeah, go figure), and the music industry peddles out brainless, reality based talent shows knock-offs at an alarming rate. But I'm most likely telling you what you already know.
I know it's because I'm getting older, but for me, gone are the days of buying music magazines (which you could just read over the net), going to pubs and clubs (which play the same music every week), and taking recommendations from friends, when they either just end up either sticking with their old reliable tastes (people my age or older), or if their current taste just sounds like a load of crap (people younger than me). And I'm sure some of you may know what I'm talking about, so I won't elaborate any further.
That's all well and good, but get to the point already.....
A few days ago, I had an idea. While I was on Wikipedia, I hit the "random article" button, just to see what articles came up, which ranged from the lunar eclipse of January 1973, the Silver Age of comic books, and the plot of a Tom & Jerry cartoon. It gave me an idea that if I happen to stumble upon a Wikipedia page of a music album, no matter what artist or genre, I will (ahem) temporarily acquire the album through illegal means, with the intention of listening to it out of curiosity, with the possibility of purchasing said album if I deem it worthy enough to part ways with my hard earned euros. And so I clicked away, until finally, the first album page that came up was.....
No really, this album came up
.....yyyeeeaaahhh, I'm just gonna say that was a test run. So the first "proper" choice that came up was "Ki-Oku", a collaboration between two Japanese recording artists, DJ Krush and Toshinori Kondo.
What do I know of the artist(s)?
Absolutely nothing. I have never heard of the artists in questions, never mind their musical output, nor am I well versed in hip-hop (DJ Krush) nor jazz fusion (Toshinori Kondo).
And what did I think of the album?
With my initial reaction to stumbling upon this album's Wiki page, along with my lack of knowledge when it came to the artist and the genre, I must say I was surprised by the fact that I actually liked the album. The first few tracks, in particular "Toh-Sui", "Hah-Do" and "Mu-Chu", really caught my attention. Most of the tracks include a hyphen in the middle, with the exception of three interludes which include the word "Tobira" and their respective number after it, and "Sun Is Shining", which is a Bob Marley cover. The inclusion of this song is a tad bit confusing, while it is remade to fit the style of the album, it seems to be out of place when compared to the other tracks. I got the impression that this was to be released as a single, if this album was to have one.
While I did find the first half of the album listenable up to "Tobira-2", the second half left my mind wandering every now and them, with the tracks sounding directionless, therefore not grabbing my attention. Then again, I have only listened to the album a handful of times, one of which while I was on a bus on the way to work, and this is the only album of its kind that I have listened to, so I would say after a few more listens, maybe they would grow on me. But for now, I am writing purely on first impressions. The beats on this album are more in line with the "trip-hop" style of music, which bring up comparisons with Massive Attack and Wu-Tang Clan, if I was to think of similar artistic styles. The jazz trumpet sounds bring an interesting layer to a genre I would never think would mesh together properly, but I feel it does here.
What track would I recommend?
The opening track "Toh-Sui".
Would I buy this album?
The weird thing is, I would buy this album, even if possessing it would make me look like a pretentious music critic. Calling this album "a mixture of trip hop beats laced with jazz fusion sensibilities" sounds a bit snobbish while reading it out. The album also reminds me of something I would hear in either an arty coffee shop, or a high class trendy bar (well, if I can get past the bouncers who would not accept "my type" in that establishment). But I do think that I would play this album again, whether it be in the background while relaxing at home, or during another bus journey.
One slight problem though. It was hard enough to find this album to download, it seems even harder to actually buy a physical copy. I very much doubt that this album was released anywhere outside of Japan. According to Amazon, a new copy would cost me £35. There are second hand copies for sale, but for some reason, second hand goods cannot be sent to my home country. So I will have to make do with what I acquired from the internet. But for you folks reading this, you can check out the whole album below (courtesy of YouTube).
For this blog entry, I shall be using the Blogger App for my phone, as part of my experiment for this site. This could be handy for situations where I may not have access to an actual PC (where I predict I may need to do further editing, such as spell checks and inserting YouTube videos). Or in this case, at times where I can't be bothered leaving my bed.
Not posted via mobile technology (see last paragraph)
I found this article on Google+ where the author talks about her reasons for deleting her Facebook account. There were a few interesting points, not all of them negative (considering the fact that I found this piece on an (unfortunately) unpopular alternative to Facebook.
It states how social network sites can enhance current relationships with friends, acquaintances and family members, but at the same time, gives other people a passive view into your own world through what you post. It also makes references to annoying functions of the site such as the timeline and the ever changing privacy settings. Even some of the comments at the end make interesting points about the reluctance of some people to add or delete people they don't really have much in common with
This article was of some interest to me, because sometime towards the end of May, I deleted all my friends off Facebook and deactivated my account. My original plan was to periodically delete two groups of people from my friends list before I went away, and I will give the rest of my friends fair warning that I would deactivate my account. I planned to spend a year in a new country, giving me a fresh start in life, so I didn't want to waste time looking to what was going on in the country I was leaving. I am sick of home, so I don't to make myself homesick also.
Unfortunately my first choice of country hit a snag, coupled with a few stressful events which include personal, work and health issues, along with a disasterous trip to London, in which I finally snapped, and let loose some drunken tirade on Facebook.
Now I have done this quite a few times throughout the years on every social networking site I've ever been on. As for the nature of what I wrote, I genuinely can't remember, as I deleted the posts right away, without even looking at who commented on those status updates.
One of my closest friends said it wasn't really that bad, it's just something incoherent while drunk. But I was very embarrassed, because not only can friends and casual acquaintances read it, but so can family members and work colleagues. So as soon as I got to an internet kiosk in London Gatwick, I deleted everybody.
Ever since I got rid of my Facebook account, it made me notice a few things, especially what FB can mean to others.
Less than half an hour of cutting the online chord, I get a text message from one of my closest friends who was angry about my choice to delete her, wondering what exactly she did that made me come to that decision. I was very shocked, and had to text her, along with another friend who informed her of other things in my life that she may not have heard about, just so she knew what the whole story was. I admit I never gave full warning to everybody, especially my close friends. But in that state of mind, it was hard to think straight, and I was actually in tears as I didn't want to hurt one of my closest, dearest friends. Thankfully, while she may not have agreed with my actions, she understood why.
I was taken aback by this exchange in a way, because I always felt that friendship was more than an online profile. I had friends telling me about some video they saw on YouTube, or about some photos of a festival they were at. They were telling me to check them out, but then they followed this up with "oh wait, I forgot, you're not on Facebook anymore". Last night, someone sent me a text asked me when I was coming back to Facebook, because his birthday was coming up, and he couldn't invite me to an event page he created for it. Sincd he was texting me at the time, why didn't it occur to him to just TEXT me the details for his birthday?
Some people can really get offended once they find out someone hit the "unfriend" button on their profile. Which I can relate to, because I too once felt that way. I remember the feeling of rejection and sudden dismissal, the questions you ask yourself as to what you actually did to them, if anything, which made it harder to speak to these people if you ran into them in public.
Over the years, I try not to take it to heart, if it's some casual acquaintance you rarely talk to in the first place. But it is also hard when you thought you were on good terms with the person to begin with. And when it was someone who you thought you were good friends with, you do feel bitter. Like one person who I was friends with for years, but who I find out was making fun of me behind my back, complaining about a certain personality trait of mine that he also had (pot kettle black), maybe its best that I'm not connected to that two faced dumb fat fuck, and not waste my time writing an angry message to him.
But it was when I started deleting people that I got the full brunt from those who I deleted. I mentioned earlier that I planned to periodically deleted two groups of people before I went away. I got through one group at the turn of the new year. While there were some people who I never wanted to speak to again, there were others who were, bitterness aside, nice enough people, especially two who I still had regular contact with through Facebook.
In an effort to keep my private life away from this blog, I won't divulge any details as to who those individuals are. I'm sure most them noticed that I deleted them, whether they were offended or if they even gave a crap, I don't know. But I will assume that they won't talk to me ever again, which I can understand. Infact, I'd be confused if they did.
But I did get some personal messages asking why I deleted them, and I did try to explain to one of the two people I felt guilty for deleting (unfortunately it was after a gig and I was inebriated at the time). So I sent those people an email explaining my reasons as to why I deleted them, which I admitted were a bit brash, but I'd prefer to be honest and straight with them, and I genuinely wished them well in the future. And I apologised that, at this stage in my life, I didn't know I could have these people in my life at this time.
It's funny that over a month since I deleted my account, I don't really miss Facebook. It is annoying that I am not informed of any upcoming events (birthdays, gigs, etc), know what else is going on in other people's lives, and I feel bad for cutting off those who I rarely see nowadays, from old college colleagues to people I met while abroad. Hopefully there will be a time that I will be able to patch things up, but I will also have to accept rejection if that is not the case (y'know, the whole "made your bed" analogy).
I also noticed that I don't waste enough time on the internet, whether on PC or mobile, going through Facebook. Maybe this has become a blessing in disguise, which has lead me to concentrate on other things, whether it be work, exercise, film, or even this blog. If I do return to the evils of that particular social networking site, I hope I will not fall back into those old habits. In the meantime, if I get the urge to share something pointless over the net, I'll use Google+. Nobody else will read it, but if I was to imagine a comparision, it would be an alcoholic drinking a non-alcoholic beer.
Speaking of alcohol, no matter how many times I did it in the past, especially during that hellish London trip, I'm still surprised that, no matter how shitfaced I get, to the point that I can barely walk, let alone speak, I can still manage to log into Facebook, and all the others before that. How the fuck is that even possible? I will never know. Well thanks to my time away from Facebook, no drunken bollocks will be posted anytime soon. Even though I'm taking a break from it for a while, for a variety of reasons. One of which for health reasons, to see if I am able to lose weight. I'm actually seeing some improvement, so who knows, I might actually get rid of this beer belly after all.
But I'm starting to go off topic, so I better wrap this up. After I deleted my Facebook account, I did get some texts from people who noticed I was gone and wondered how I was. I appreciated those texts, along with the support from my close friends. So when I'm ready to go back to Facebook, I'll be sure to add them as a friend, if they'll have me. And hopefully I won't be in a position to go through this whole mess again.
For this last paragraph, I got out of bed, and logged onto my computer to see how writing on the app worked out.
On a final note, the Blogger App is okay, but you are not given any freedom to post images anywhere you want, the paragraphs are not even spaced out, and there is no function to post YouTube videos. Speaking of which, the selection from YouTube via the "insert a video" function is limited, compared to the actual YouTube site. Hence why I'm posting a live version of the song below, as opposed to the studio version. Lame.
Okay, for my first proper blog entry, I may as well write about the most recent movie I've seen in the cinema. If you want a short summary of what the film is about, as there are many other sites on the internet you can find that out. Besides, isn't that what Wikipedia is for? So all I'm going to do is recount my experience going into this film, and follow that up with an attempt at some analysis of the feature (ie. nitpicking every aspect of the film, which leaves me open to correction from those who either liked it, or "got it"). The following text will be filled with spoilers, which I will give fair warning to later on.
I said before that I don't have many interesting hobbies, but the one I do partake in are trips to the cinema. I have a membership card for Cineworld where I can watch as many movies as I want to in a month for 20 euros. So that gives me opportunities to check out movies that I may not have been interested in if I was to actually pay for a ticket (well, more than the 20 euro limit for each month if I wasn't a member). Which cuts out the risk on wasting money on a movie that turned out to be a load of rubbish. And if you read the title of this article, I'm sure you can figure out what I thought of the movie, but I'll get to that.....once I stop with this prolonged introduction.
What have I heard about the movie beforehand?
My only recollection on hearing about this movie was reading on movie websites about an upcoming film by David Cronenberg which starred that guy from the Twilight movies. While reading his filmography, I am reminded that I haven't seen some of his more "out-there" movies, like Scanners or Videodrone. And I have seen clips of the weird special effects from his movies (like the infamous scene at the beginning of Scanners.....I would post a link, but I'm sure you know how to use YouTube by now). But I was a fan of The Fly and A History Of Violence. With this movie, considering that I also saw Crash and Naked Lunch, I did expect Cosmopolis to be along the same lines. Whether I was going to like it or not, remained to be seen.
As for Robert Pattinson, I've never seen the Twilight movies. I know of them, I am told how bad they are in all their sparkling glory, so I am in no position to take the piss out of him. As I see it, even if I do manage to see these movies, giving out about the Twilight series is like giving out about Barney's Great Adventure. They were made for a certain audience, and I am way removed from that audience. And there's no use complaining about how popular they are, mediocrity (for the most part) will always be financially successful. Why do you think reality talent shows are still on the air?
But I have to admit, I do find this funny. And this was the only RPatz (ugh) movie I've seen:
As for any actual reviews of the movie, I only read this one, and even though I read the last line, I STILL went to watch it.
There's a lot going on here... ostensibly. And for a film with so much going on, this is boring as shit.
A quick opinion of the movie
My god, IT WAS boring as shit. So much that I'm amazed that I actually sat through the whole movie. In the cinema I counted 17 people at the beginning of the screening. Whether the low attendance was due to the lack of interest in the film beforehand, or the fact that England were facing Italy in the European Championships is anybodys guess. But from those 17 people, 10 of them walked out. Rating: 3/10
And here's why
Let's start off with a short summary of what the film was about (and before you point it out, yes I am contradicting my statement in the first paragraph). Robert Pattinson plays a guy called Eric (and that's the only character name I remember, without looking up the names of the other characters online), who seems to be a man of some importance, more so that he is not fazed by the arrival of the President to Manhattan (going as far as asking which President it is). Even though this will cause traffic jams, he decides to go across town to get a haircut. So he gets into his customised limousine.....and most of the movie takes place inside this limousine, with the few exceptions where he steps outside for whatever reason.
Over an hour into the movie, which includes breakfast, lunch and dinner with his newly married wife (of which he rarely gets to sleep with), meetings with various people who work for him (and having sex with two of them onscreen), his daily medical checkup (which includes checking his prostate), the death of his favourite rapstar, getting a pie to the face from some French protester, murdering his bodyguard (which I'll touch upon later, as I'm still not sure why), the theme of "rats as currency" inserted at various points of the movie, and having many, many long winded conversations about life and capitalism in which they sound more like stuffy college professors instead of real people.....he finally gets a haircut.....well, half of a haircut.
He leaves the barbers, takes his gun (again, I'll talk about later), goes to a garage where his limo is getting cleaned up, and he is shot at by someone in a building nearby. He finds the apartment where his would be assassin is stationed, has a conversation with him for over twenty minutes, in which Eric shoots himself in the hand (ugh, later), and while being held at gunpoint by the man who wishes to kill him.....the movie ends.
What I felt towards the end
Well films of which the ending is open to interpretation, especially if leaves whatever preceding it unresolved, is always taking the risk. It is easy to annoy the viewer who has invested that much time into viewing this feature, only for it to end abruptly, especially those who would prefer a definitive ending. This practice can be seen as an attempt to become more arty, or make the viewer come up with their own conclusions, but other times, it can be seen as annoying and pretentious. Off the top of my head, The Wrestler and The Grey apply this type of ending, but where those two movies did have an interesting, or at least consistent, narrative, Cosmopolis just meanders on throughout its whole duration, and for it to finish suddenly, it makes the whole experience a waste of time. If it was supposed to give me something to think about, all it made me think of was those 2 hours of my life that I wasted, and that I'll never get back.
Eric, Robert Pattinson, (ugh) RPatz, whatever
I don't have a problem with the guy's acting. He does a decent enough job, considering the material he's been handed. Apparently Eric was meant to be played by Colin Farrell, who opted out to do Total Recall (as much as I am skeptical of that reboot/remake, it turned out to be a good decision on his part).
The character of Eric is, for want of a better term, dull. From the beginning of the movie, and from the way people react to him, along with talk of his possessions, including the very limousine in which he is in, you know he's a bigshot in some way. But why I'm not entirely sure. At first I thought he was involved in weapons development, hence his attitude to the President coming to Manhattan. But apparently he's a billionaire in the financial sector, who has to be protected by his bodyguard (played by the actor who was a soldier working for Charles Widmore in Lost) as there is a constant threat on his life. But not even that fazes him.
He is materialistic, buying anything expensive and rare, from "priceless" art to a wartime German bomber, just because he has the money to do so, along with the bragging rights. He states that he is losing millions of dollars everyday, so this either shows that his wealth is so vast to the point that it means nothing to him, or it is an early indication to his desire to sabotage his life.
He doesn't show much care or feeling towards most of the people in his life, or anyone else for that matter. Whether it is someone getting stabbed in the eye on live television, due to problems with the Yen, or towards his wife, who he has recently married. The wife is just as equally jaded and emotionally distant as Eric, and judging from the cold interactions between the two, with the topic of conversation frequently steered by Eric as to when he can sleep with her again, it feels more like a marriage of convenience, as opposed to a union of love.
On a sidenote, while I didn't know who the actress was at the time, let alone actually remember her character's name, her face reminded me of either Patricia Arquette or some woman I saw in an issue of Playboy during my teens.
Sarah Gadon
(for you film buffs)
Patricia Arquette
(for those who never saw True Romance)
Quinn Koloski
(for you perverts)
If there is any feeling Eric has towards his wife, it is lust. For a guy who can get anything, and in the case of women, anyone he wants, the constant rejections from her must really get to him, especially that not even marriage can guarantee sex with her. And for someone who has no problem with obtaining sexual partners, including employee Juliette Binoche (from Three Colours Blue and.....erm.....actually I've never seen any other movie she's been in), his security guard, and another employee that, while he never actually sleeps with her on camera, there is tension between them, despite having his prostate examined by a doctor. Speaking of the sex scenes, you know a movie is so bad that not even scenes of nudity and sex would even interest your average reader of Nuts magazine.
I still question why these two people are married to each other, other than the fact that what they have in common is indifference to each other and life in general. It can't be to do with family pressures, as from what I gather in the barbershop scene, Eric's father has passed away a long time ago. It could be because of money, as both seem to come from well to do backgrounds, so maybe it's more of a business partnership than an actual loving relationship. NOTE: I may have gotten some facts wrong by misinterpretation or not coping on to something during the film, but given that I actually sat through the whole movie, I'm surprised I even remember what I watched.
The one time Eric shows any emotion towards another character is when he learns of the death of his favourite rapper from natural causes, who he seemed to know personally, and whose funeral is taking place that day. He is such a fan that he has this rapper's music playing in one of his two elevators in his apartment complex. He learns the news from (I'm guessing) someone who worked for the rapper, who chastises Eric for being upset that he died of natural causes as opposed to being shot in a typical "gansta rap" feud.
The fact that Eric cries and hugs the bearer of bad news makes the scene more confusing. Especially afterwards he leaves his limo, to get pied in the face by some annoying, pretentious French protester, of which his bodyguard apprehends, and watches two people playing basketball. He has a brief chat with his bodyguard, which includes the voice activation function of his gun. Eric holds the gun, the bodyguard says the password, and then Eric shoots him in the head.....out of nowhere, and for no apparent reason. Right before he gets his goddamn haircut.
He generally holds people in contempt, to the point that others admit that they don't know how to answer his questions, as he will quickly judge them and therefore lose all respect for them. This is shown during the last scene with his would be killer (played by Paul Giamatti), where they both get into a debate about what they think of the other person's worries and values (to paraphrase the killer, he says he has symptoms while Eric has complexes). The summary of this long and, quite frankly, boring exchange is that both feel that the other person is full of shit when it comes to what they are thinking, what they feel, and their motivations as to how they got to this moment of time. And yet nothing is explained as to who the killer is, whether he's an ex-employee, or someone who had an idea stolen by Eric. But Eric recognises him only as a guy he saw near an ATM earlier on in the movie (the scene lasted about 3 or 4 seconds). And again, maybe I didn't catch what the answer was during this scene, but at this point of the movie, I was looking at my watch, and begging the movie to just end already.
And a few minutes before the anti-climactic ending, where our main character does nothing to defend himself from the possibility that he would get a bullet to the head, Eric shoots himself in the hand. Bizarrely, even the assassin tends to Eric by helping him stop the bleeding. Whether this is supposed to show that the assassin is not really a killer at heart, I don't know. It's just a bizarre, but stupid scene.
Eric's Self Destruction
For whatever reason, it seems that Eric is on a path of self destruction, whether it is financially (losing millions on a daily basis), through sexual encounters out of wedlock (which is admittedly doubtful), committing murder (but then again he made no real attempt to stop his would-be assassin, yet he kills his bodyguard), or just self harm. What I mean by the latter is of two scenes in the movie; the most obvious one being the scene where he shoots himself in the hand. The other is during a sex scene with his other security guard where she brandishes a taser gun, and Eric begs her to shoot him with it. You see the red aiming light on his chest, and he keeps begging her to do it.....and then it cuts to him in the limousine. And I see three people walk out of the cinema as a result. Hell, I was ready to walk out, as it was that moment during the film that I gave up on it. How, or more importantly, why I stayed? I don't know, I really don't.
Now, it's hard to sympathise with a main character that belongs to the 1% of the population, especially as the film is set in the near future, yet it's supposed to parallel with the Occupy Wall Street movement that was going on at the time of the making of the movie. And if you're not supposed to sympathise with them, then you could at least understand what the character is going through. But there lies the problem, there is no hint as to what was driving him mad in the first place. We don't know if this was building up over a period of time, or whether he just woke up that day, and decided to go nuts.
If I was to make a comparison, I would compare Eric to Patrick Bateman from American Psycho (whether it be from the novel or the film). This is a guy who belongs to a world of excess, capitalism, and greed, along with a character that is just as bland as the company he keeps, yet you have an insight into what drives his madness and his mindset.
But the only thing I could guess as to why Eric suddenly went crazy, was being told that his prostate was asymmetrical, of which he brings up with his would-be killer, and asked him what it means, to which he replies that it means nothing. I guess it's because he wishes things to be perfect, and he is so precise in his way of thinking, that he cannot handle any curveballs or irregularities that life brings up. And if the whole reason that he is orchestrating his own demise is due to the fact that his prostate is "asymmetrical", then that makes it hard for myself, as the viewer, to feel any sympathy, or come to any understanding, to the events of the movie.
I do remember that the doctor who checked him was not his normal doctor, so whether it's another example of a curveball that he couldn't handle, such that his tried and trusted doctor never mentioned his "irregular" prostate, I don't know. It just left me with the opinion that this guy is an idiot.
Stupid things that bugged me: Dialogue
The way these characters speak to each other is not natural. Which would be fine if the world is meant to be alien and surreal (as in Naked Lunch). But the world is set in the near future, and it could be argued that the limo itself is in a way a surreal setting. But Eric leaves the car every now and then, so it breaks this illusion straight away. If anything, it makes whatever is going on outside more distracting, especially during a conversation Eric has with employee Samantha Morton (who was in Minority Report and.....hmmm, again, another actress of which I've only seen one film), where they talk about some rubbish (I don't know, capitalism or something), while a load of protesters rock the limo, spray graffiti, and walk all over it.
The whole "professor speak" reminded me of the Richard Linklater films Waking Life and Fast Food Nation. It works during the former, as the film is based in a dream world, but in the latter, the dialogue sounds unnatural coming from what are meant to be everyday, normal people (especially in one scene with includes Ethan Hawke and, coincidentally, Patricia Arquette, talking to a young girl which sounds more like a lecture on the evils of "the man").
Stupid things that bugged me: The Barbershop Scene
Considering that this was the focus of the first hour of the movie, I was half expecting this scene to be of some importance when Eric finally gets to his long time trusted barber. But it doesn't. Simple as. All it is, is the barber giving him some leftover takeout from the fridge, while his limo driver exchanges taxi stories with the barber.
Now that scene was annoying as it is, but no more than the rest of the movie up to this point. But the one thing that bugged me, was at one point, the driver realised that his bodyguard was gone, and wondered where he was. Not knowing that Eric shot him in the head, apparently because the limo is sound proofed, hence why the driver never heard a shot, Eric tells him that he gave him the rest of the night off.
For a guy who apparently needs 24 hour protection from those who wish to harm him, it's funny how the driver suddenly copped on that his bodyguard was missing. Eric then goes on about earlier having a gun (guns came up in conversation), but throwing it away (after shooting his bodyguard, but not wiping off the fingerprints), and he is criticised by the barber and the limo driver for throwing away a gun when he knew he was going to a rough area of New York. While they continue to give out to him, all I kept thinking was why the limo driver was giving out to him, yet he only realised himself that the bodyguard has been missing for quite a while.
Stupid things that bugged me: The Actual Haircut
And continuing on with this "pivotal" scene in the barbers, he only has one side of his head cut, while the other is still uncut and caked with remnants of the pie from earlier on. Now, this could symbolise the main character getting used to the idea of imperfection, but struggling with it, as he leaves with the gun that belonged to the barber, promising that he will come back to get the other half done, and so he.....erm.....ugh.....
That's IT! I GIVE UP!
I can't take much more of this. It hurts my brain to recollect anything from that horrible movie, and trying to make sense of all that rubbish. Also, in the formation of this blog entry, I was over halfway through this text, and for some reason, four to five paragraphs disappeared without a trace, even though I hit the "save" button. Apparently it was due to an error in the HTML, even though I never touched the HTML code.
So to remember and rewrite all that I previously wrote was a pain in the ass. And if there's anything I learned from my first proper blog entry, was that maybe I should save the text somewhere else on my computer, incase I run into another problem with this site. And hopefully I will learn the art of editing. Jesus, I'd hate to find out what the word count for this document is.
And on a final note.....
before Cosmopolis, I thought the worst movie I've seen this year was Prometheus. And boy, I could still go on about how bad that movie was. If anything, it reminded me of when I saw Avatar in the cinema. The 3D effects were amazing, in the case of Prometheus, the set design was superb, but for both movies, the stories were very poor. But at least Avatar's plot was consistent. I could probably write a blog entry longer than this based on Prometheus, but I'll post this video review instead, as these guys brought up similar complaints I had with it.
It's Friday, Friday, like that song about Friday.....and already this blog is off to a bad start.
Ahem. Well I'm just messing around with this "Blogger" site. I did try to start a blog over a year ago, but it was more of a personal, albeit "private" nature. But when I got an Android phone, somehow whatever I posted, including pictures, were instantly downloaded to my phone. I guess it was something to do with my Google account being linked to the particular blog. And with the introduction of Google+, I deleted the entire blog, and moved some of its posts to a different blogging site.....of which I can't remember where.
As for this blog, well, I guess you can call it one part something to mess around with (due to boredom and a lack of interesting hobbies), and another part an experiment. Years ago, in the days of MySpace versus Bebo, I was in college studying Journalism. I guess I chose it because I actually liked to write, mainly features, opinions, and short stories, which I also did a bit of when I was in school. I even wrote a few entries in the blog features of the aforementioned social networking sites, which I was complemented on by people at the time, for whatever reason.
But due to an unfortunate chain of events in my life towards the end of my college course (which I won't go into), I developed what I could call a severe case of "writers block". Hence I've never had the drive nor the motivation to write about anything, no matter what inspiration I may find. I've been meaning to take up a creative writing class to see if I can jumpstart my passion for writing again. But right now, it has been put on the backburner for a variety of reasons; most of them just out of self inflicted laziness, but right now I'm concentrating on learning how to drive, and one or two things in my life that I'm trying to sort out. One of which includes efforts to leave the country for a year, which fell apart a few weeks ago, and I haven't had the chance to formulate a "Plan B" (again, a combination of bullshit and genuine reasons).
So if I never get around to going for that creative writing class, or reading that book I bought in Easons last year, I may as well do something. Hence the creation of this blog. And I remember reading somewhere that when you create a blog, you are meant to think of what type of blog it is, what content to use, structure, layout, tone, and all that crap. But honestly, I'm clueless as to what I will be writing about in future. Hell, I don't even know what I'm writing about right now (and this is the fourth paragraph, go figure).
While I do wish to stray away from the whole "dear diary" type of writing, as even my own life bores me to tears, I guess this first entry will give you some sort of an idea as to the type of person the author is. And if this is not enough for you to form an opinion, well.....there's always the next blog entry.
But I do have one idea for my blog entries. At the end of whatever crap I write, I will just post a random video from YouTube, whether it has any relevance to the preceding text, or just an insight into what I find funny, interesting, or more than likely, show off my questionable taste in music.....which I assure you does not include Rebecca Black.
