Raw Is Fozzie

Okay, once again I'm at home, and without something meaningful or interesting to write about. So I may as well write a blog entry on something that I have an on-off interest with; wrestling. I can't remember when exactly I stopped watching it regularly, but I think it's around the time Hulk Hogan came into TNA and changed the ring from six sides to four, WWE was starting to push one of the Spirit Squad, in the form of Dolph Ziggler, and the rest of the ECW originals were being put to pasture. After that, I only get updated on current wrestling events from friends who still watch it, and the odd PPV, especially Royal Rumble.

I can't remember the last time I watched an entire episode of Raw, now that I'm not living at home, and have no access to Sky Sports. And it had gotten to a point that wrestling was starting to bore me to the point that I wasn't even interested in the computer games anymore, which I bought on a yearly basis, except for the last one. I started asking myself who half the the roster was nowadays, along with questioning why certain wrestlers still have a job (Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger, That Little Bastard Hornswaggle), and there was nothing to bring me back to watching wrestling on a regular basis.

But considering that it was the 1000th episode of Raw, and it was the first of its 3 hour long runtime, I was intrigued as to what the episode had to offer. As I'm in no way going to write an indepth review of the episode, considering it's almost one week old, and I have don't have the current knowledge of the programming anymore, I'm just gonna summarize what thoughts were going through my head while watching it.

D-X Reunion

The segment was the usual nostalgia mixed with self referential injokes, and I have no idea who the hell Damien Sandow is, but he seems to be good on the mike, so I have no problem with his character, even though it's been seen many times before (see Chris Nowinski, The Genius, and strangely enough, Hunter Hearst Helmsley).

I just thought it was funny that they brought everyone from D-X except Chyna. Then again, I don't think they can bring her in to promote the Avengers XXX movie.

And I thought the Playboy shoots were disturbing.

1st Match/JR cameo

I must say, I did not miss the constant plugs for BBQ sauce, or references to "slobberknockers", although I dig his goatee. And while I understand Y2J's role as enhancement talent these days, what with his commitments to Fozzy, I just wish it wasn't to push Dolph Ziggler. I'm sorry, but he will always be that guy from the male cheerleading squad.

WWE Tout

Ugh.....moving on.....

Charlie Sheen

Really? I don't know who is more desperate for publicity, Charlie Sheen or the WWE. Sure he's one step above Kevin Federline, but.....jeez.

2nd Match/Brodus Clay's Theme Tune

I'm sorry, but everytime I hear that tune, my mind goes back to Ernest "The Cat" Miller's unfortunate spell in WWE (see video below). But on the plus side, it's good to know that Jack Swagger has been reduced to jobber status. Now if only Dolph Ziggler would suffer the same fate.

The Wedding/The Rock

Okay the whole wedding angle has been done to death, but I guess it's something to end a current storyline, and I do get a kick out of seeing American Dragon.....I MEAN, Bryan Danielson.....I MEAN, Daniel Bryan, getting decent screen time, considering that match he had at Wrestlemania with Sheamus. I still don't know who he pissed off backstage to be reduced to a joke.

And I like the interaction between him, CM Punk and The Rock, and is a nice teaser for the Royal Rumble next year. As for AJ being the Raw general manager.....well, considering that the general manager thing has become a joke at this stage, I have no real opinion of it. Although I wish I saw the episode where The Muppets were the general managers.

3rd Match/Bret Hart cameo

Nice to see Bret Hart at the show, even if it was a bit pointless. As for The Miz being the Intercontinental Champion, well, I suppose they've always wanted to push him whenever possible, ever since his attempts at winning Tough Enough. Other than that, he doesn't bother me that much, but I think that's more to do with my lack of interest in the current wrestling product.

ANOTHER Triple H promo

This brought me back to the Evolution days, where Triple H would shite on for 20-30 minutes on Raw. I guess when you're the son in law of the owner of WWE, it's one of the perks. I do have some respect for Brock Lesnar, but he still looks like a baby in a sumo suit. But it was great to see Paul Heyman onscreen, as I always enjoyed his persona and his mic skills, along with respect for his writing not just with ECW, but when he was the writer on Smackdown.

Stone Cold vs McMahon segment

Hmm, maybe there's a reason why Steve Austin was not present, but I'm too lazy to do a Google Search to find out why.

Hornswaggle

Seriously, WHY is he still there?

4th Match/Legends

I only know of Heath Slater through watching one episode of NXT, and I guess he's doing the Randy Orton way of going against the "legends". But unsuccessfully from the looks of it. Whether he's supposed to be a joke, I'm not sure. But I do get a kick of seeing former wrestlers from the past throughout the show, and how could you not love Faarooq/Ron Simmons' contribution at the end?

As for Lita.....yeah, I still would.

Wocka Wocka Wocka!

And yes, I "popped" for the appearance of Fozzie Bear. Of all the wrestlers, new and old, along with the celebrity cameos, that have appeared so far, the one that brought a smile to my face, that filled my little heart with joy, was Fozzie. What can I say? I love the Muppets.

The Mini Edges

It's funny how one is still being pushed as a main character on the show (Zack Ryder), while the other (Curt Hawkins) seems to have been reduced to a lackey for Muhammad Hassan.....or whoever that guy in the turban was. Sweet jebus, have they not learned that this 80s stereotype doesn't work anymore? Especially after that attack on the Undertaker, which coincided with London bombings years ago? Speaking of the Undertaker.....

Brothers Of Destruction

Damned if I know if this was meant to be a match, but I've always liked The Undertaker and Kane, even if they did face off against a bunch of "jabronies".

Charlie Sheen vs Daniel Bryan?

.....REALLY?????

6th Match/Finale

Admittedly, I skipped towards the end of the match, as I didn't feel there was any point to watching a match where anyone could easily predict the outcome. So I skipped to the point where CM Punk attacked The Rock. Well, at least I know who will be squaring off then come Royal Rumble.

Verdict

I wondered how Raw would pull off a 3 hour show. So from what I gather, what they need to fill 3 hours is as follows:

• 30 minutes of actual wrestling
• 30 minutes of ads
• 2 hours of constant talking

Which is why I've never been a fan of the TV shows that WWE produce. If I wanted to watch actual wrestling, I'll just stick to the PPVs. But if the show is 3 hours long, how long will the PPVs be? And I'm also surprised Smackdown hasn't been scrapped as of yet, considering the constant interchanging of talent between the two shows.

And on a final note.....

Well, this has admittedly become a rubbish blog entry, but I'm tired and a little pissy, so I needed to do something to occupy my time. I was going to find a clip of what made me laugh during the show (as I need something to cheer me up at the moment), but I stumbled upon this advertisment for the 1000th episode. This should do the trick: