Bat-Attack (Part Two)

Okay, I may as well get the obligatory opening paragraph which explains (or in this case makes excuses) what I've been doing since the last time I posted an entry. Among other things distracting me in everyday life, I have been busy with a trip to England, hospital visits, and a hectic time at work where we have a shortage of staff. But I have been meaning to get around to writing the second part of my Batman themed blog entries, despite the fact that it's no longer relevant. But it was always my intention to do this blog for my own enjoyment, so if anyone has a problem with it, hey, you're on the internet. I'm sure you'll find something else that pleases you instead.

And on a sidenote before I begin, I would like to thank seymourblogger for taking the time to go through my blog entries and posting comments ranging from recommendations of other blogs to encouragement and tips for my fledgling blog. I'll be sure to return the favour once I get through this.....

As the excitement and hype of the release of "The Dark Knight Rises" has, well, fallen, I will do my best not to regurgitate the same compliments and criticisms that everyone has about the movie. Mainly it's the latter, as admittedly I think the film is extremely flawed, but it does have its good points that made me enjoy it enough to not rip apart the movie too much. I'm not sure why, but for some reason I was able to enjoy this movie, yet I hated Prometheus because of its own ridiculous plot holes and ridiculous inconsistencies. Maybe it's because I liked the Dark Knight trilogy as a whole, or maybe I wasn't that pushed on the return of Ridley Scott to the Alien franchise.....even though it's not entirely linked.....but it is, but.....oh that's it, I'm stopping right there. I'll keep my Prometheus rants for another time.

For this blog entry, I'm going to list the ten things about the movie that bugged me in one way or another. Now with this movie, I have come up with a lot of criticism, from reviewers and fans on the internet, to friends and casual acquaintances. And a few of the same criticisms have come up, some that I agree with, and others that I can look past or go against. A few that come to mind are, off the top of my head:

http://azeroth.metblogs.com/files/2010/07/spoiler_alert-499x375.jpg

• Why does everybody believe in Bane when he's threatening to blow up the city? (for example: this vlog) - yeah that's a bit hard to believe, along with the fact that there are no other people willing to fight except the police
• How were the police able to fight despite being trapped underground for months? - I would say "suspension of disbelief", but at the same time, I remember the Chilean miners in 2010, so the fact that they were able to fight in broad daylight was unbelievable, despite one of the characters (either Blake or Gordon) saying they work at night anyway and never see the light, so they'll be okay.
• What a rubbish way for Bane to go at the end / how could Bane turn out to be a lackey after all? - The same can be said for Scarecrow. He was a lackey, and his exit was brought on by Katie Holmes tasering him in the face
• Why didn't they mention The Joker in the movie? - Look, Heath Ledger is dead, there's nothing anyone can do about it. It was either write The Joker out, insert an unused clip from the previous movie, or come up with some excuse for his exclusion.
• How and why did Batman get the time to spread gasoline on the side of the bridge to light up a Bat-Signal, considering the fact that the city was about to blow up? - Yyyeeeaaahhh, even I admit that was cheesy and a tad bit stupid.
• Why did they make Blake's real name "Robin" and not Dick Grayson? - There are four other people who became Robin in the comic books, so why get angry about that?
• How was Bruce Wayne able to live in Florence without money? - If he was smart enough to buy Wayne Enterprises in secret in the first movie, I'm sure he was still smart enough to have some money hidden for a rainy day.
• What exactly is the Harvey Dent Act? - Erm.....it's an act where people involved in organised crime are refused parole and bail?
• How was Batman's back "magically" fixed from being broken? - How was he able to survive falling from a building onto a car with Rachel Dawes on top in The Dark Knight?
• How could Batman just retire / he should have died in the end - Oh leave the guy alone, he saved the city, he's too old to keep on fighting, and he's beginning to start a new life and find happiness. What more do you want?

As you can see, this movie can be debated on many levels, and probably will be the topic of many discussions with fans and critics for years to come. While they have not fully ruined the experience I had watching the film, I do admit that the script really needed another draft to tighten the story. 

The above list was an attempt not to regurgitate the tired old arguments (at this stage) of the film, and come up with the ones that stuck with me from the two times I watched it. Bear in mind, I haven't seen the film in over a month, so I am sure to have missed out on a few things when I watched the movie twice. But here are ten things that threw me off:

1. That voice.....

As I said in the last blog entry, I am not a fan of Christian Bale's Batman voice. And I'm know I'm not the only one, as many people mock it. And Bane sounds like a cross between Sean Connery's James Bond and Ian McKellen's Gandalf (hence the image at the beginning of this article). The voice itself is not enough to stop me from enjoying it, but what bugs me is that he uses that voice even when he's talking to people who know he's Bruce Wayne. Blake, Bane, Selina Kyle, even when they are aware of his secret identity, he insists on using that voice. Why? Is the Batsuit actually choking him all this time

2. Blake's "detective" skills

I'm sure the scene where Blake tells Bruce Wayne how he figured out he was Batman was to show his powers of deduction and to show that they two are kindred souls. But when I watched that scene, my immediate reaction was: BULLSHIT! You mean to tell me that, just because the two of them are orphans, and the fact that he stared into his eyes all those years ago that he immediately came to the conclusion that he was Batman? It would have been more believable if he came with the conclusion that: Batman has not been seen since Harvey Dent / Two Face's death, Bruce Wayne has been a recluse at the same time, Rachel Dawes was connected to both of them, and THEN go on about the whole "wearing a mask" in public, then it might make more sense. But then again, even Inspector Gadget could put two and two together if that was the case.

3. Blood transfusion on the plane

The beginning scene of the movie where Bane injects the captured scientists blood into a corpse planted on the plane bothered me for two reasons. First of all, the scientist was declared dead until he showed up at the football stadium (just after that explosion, which would have been better if they didn't have a kid singing the American National Anthem, which made the scene more laughable, but I digress...). So if I'm not mistaken, because his blood was in the dummy corpse, he was pronounced dead. Without any other DNA tests, dental records, anything? I suppose they don't show the wreckage, and I don't watch CSI, so I can't even pretend to know anything about forensics. And the second thing that bugged me was Bane's precision of locating the scientists vein to syphon the blood. From someone who has had many blood tests, not only was the scene unrealistic, but painful to watch.

And you shall not passh!

4. Are Bane and Talia suicide bombers?

Now many people have questioned the motives of Bane and even Miranda Tate, who turns out to be Talia Al Ghuel.....erm, Al Guell....err, let's just leave it at Talia, since I can't remember the right spelling. Anyways, Talia wants to complete her father's plan to destroy Gotham. Now, I'm not sure why she wants to do that, as before her father's death, she was estranged from him because of his treatment towards Bane. So why would his death make her want to complete his plan? And why would she be angry that Batman caused her father's death in the first place?

I understand why Raj Al Ghoul.....err, Raz Al Gooel.....ah feck it, let's just call him Liam Neeson. Now, Liam Neeson wants to destroy Gotham in the first movie because of it's decadence. Fair enough, but by TDKR, the city is now crime free, albeit under the illusion that Harvey Dent was a white knight, and so forth. So Talia and Bane come up with a plan to create anarchy, so they can.....erm, destroy Gotham for being out of control.....even though they're the ones who caused it?

Okay, it's hard enough to understand their reasons for wanting to blow up Gotham. But while watching the movie during the final few minutes, it dawned on me that the two of them never planned to escape Gotham. They knew the bomb was going to go off, yet they stayed? Why? Did they want to make sure incase Bruce Wayne managed to escape that prison and come back? Now that I think about it, was the League Of Shadows back in business, or was it going to die with Bane and Talia?

I'm guessing they were suicide bombers at heart, as I am reminded again of the first scene when Bane tells one of his followers to stay on the plane because "they" expected one of them to be onboard when it crashed. Well if they couldn't figure out that the scientist wasn't onboard in the first place, what difference did it make if he was on it or not? I don't know, maybe they all shared that passion for a goal they were willing to die for. I just wish they were a bit clearer about what that goal was and why.

Speaking of Talia.....

5. Marion Cotillard's boobs

I admit that as a bloke, I do get distracted by boobs, whether it be in real life, in photography, or onscreen. It's not because I'm a pervert.....well, not always *cough cough*.....but whenever I saw Marion Cotillard onscreen, two things came to mind.....NO not like that! First of all, they were not there when I saw her in Inception, and secondly, I wondered why she got them done in the first place. If it was for personal reasons, then fair enough, who am I to say otherwise? If it was an attempt to get more acting work or be considered for modelling, advertising etc; she's already won an Academy Award, she's most likely gonna be used in another Christopher Nolan movie, and she is already hot, regardless of age. But hey, I'm not complaining, especially when it comes to boobs.....aaannnddd I better move onto the next subject before I make myself look like even more of a pervert.....

Because I like.....erm, visual aids.....ahem, moving on.....
http://www.plasticcelebritysurgery.com/2010/12/marion-cotillard-breast-implants.html

6. Liam Neeson is a ghost?

The cameo of Raj Al.....I mean, Liam Neeson, was one of the low points of the movie in my opinion. Sure it was nice to see him for a few seconds, and I was a little surprised at first. But then he disappeared and I realized that it was just Bruce Wayne having a hallucination. I found this part really cheesy, because it just seems out of place with the somewhat "realistic" tone of the films so far. It would have made sense if Bruce Wayne was hit with the same halucinogetic gas that The Scarecrow used. And the fact that Liam Neeson says he could appear from the dead, what did he think he was, a Jedi? Wait a minute.....

If he has a problem, maybe he should call the A-Team.....oh wait.....

7. What was Juno Temple's character?

You know, that blonde chick who was in Killer Joe (very good movie released this year that you should check out, if you haven't seen it, or heard about it)? She was the accomplice of Selina Kyle? Who was she? Was she a friend? Sister? Lover? Partner in crime? If you took her out of the movie, would she be even missed? What did she even do in the movie, other than give Selina a mobile, steal someone's wallet, and talk to Selina during a looting spree? What happened to her in the end? Does anyone care? Does anyone even remember the character's name? Or even who I'm talking about?

8. Why did Bruce Wayne keep the Batcave?

In The Dark Knight, his mansion was being rebuilt, along with the Batcave, as established from the ending of Batman Begins. But from what I gather, Batman hung up his cape the day Harvey Dent died. So was there any reason to go through with the Batcave in the first place? Unless it was the first thing to be rebuilt, it seems kinda convenient that he had a fully functional Batcave, incase he needed/wanted to come out of retirement. Okay I guess I'm nitpicking at this stage but.....I'm sorry, but I'm STILL trying to figure out who Juno Temple was meant to be! Ahem, I'll just move onto the next one.

9. Bane's not such a bad guy. After all, he let Batman keep his leg brace

Think about it. After Bane "breaks" the back of Batman (I'm no chiropractor, so I don't know if his back was actually broken), he puts him in the prison where he was once held, so he can watch is beloved Gotham fall to the ground. Wouldn't it have made sense for Bane to remove the leg brace that could help him walk? That would have made their next fight scene a lot more interesting, and remind people that Bruce Wayne is still not fully fit to fight Bane. Sure it would still have been unrealistic, but hey, if people were willing to buy into the plotline of Rocky Balboa, why not here? I don't know, like I said before, maybe he expected Bruce Wayne to come back, or something. But the fact that once Bruce Wayne put on the leg brace, the idea of him being old and a cripple went right out the window of a tall building, fall down many stories, and onto a parked car.....no wait, Batman survived that. Okay then how about falling off a ledge in a burned out building?

10. Are we forgetting someone?

So let me get this straight: Batman took the blame for the murders Harvey Dent committed. He tells Commissioner Gordon that nobody should know the truth about what happened. Fair enough. Other than them two, and excluding the dead, who else knew what happened? Well there is Gordon's family, but I'm sure they would have also taken a vow of silence, even after his wife leaves him and takes the kids. Now, it's difficult enough to make up a story as to how they ended up there in the first place to the police that arrived on the scene at the end of TDK.

Which leads me to my next question. Who lead them to Two Face in the first place? Why it's the same woman who lead Rachel Dawes to The Joker: Detective Ramirez. Now, during Harvey Dent's quest for revenge/justice (you flip a coin), his next target was Ramirez, who happened to have won the coin toss that saved her life. Which brings me to my final question: what happened to her afterwards?

Did she run away? Was she made accountable for her crimes? And if she was brought to justice, how was she convinced to keep her mouth shut for all these years? Witness protection programme?

I bring this up, because it gave me an idea for an alternative for how Bane brought about anarchy and distrust in the police force. In the film, he blows up a football stadium, among other parts of the city, with the entire police force trapped underground, broke the neck of the scientist, who also happened to be the only person who could dismantle the bomb that would destroy all of Gotham. A few minutes later, he goes on television reading a speech that Gordon wrote, which told the truth about Harvey Dent, and the cover up which lead to the Dent Bill.

Now, why would people be willing to believe a terrorist who is threatening to blow up the city with a nuclear bomb? People would think he was crazy enough as it is, so I doubt many people would have believed anything he had to say, even if he did have in his possession the speech written by Gordon. I thought it would have made much more sense if somehow, Ramirez was brought in by Bane, willingly or against her will, to expose Harvey Dent for who he really was. It would have been more effective in exposing the corruption within the police force, and give the anarchists a valid reason to rebel, instead of believing a masked psychopath, even if it may be out of fear.

Have you seen this woman? Wanted for questioning.

Did I ACTUALLY like TDKR?

Despite the amount of inconsistencies with the plot and characters, I still enjoyed the movie. I really liked how the series ended, tying up the loose ends of all the character arcs, especially with Bruce Wayne. It was nice to see that he found a way to leave the sadness and death back in Gotham City, and start a new life. Granted, the love plot between him and Selina Kyle was not well thought out, but then again, Batman's love for Catwoman was always questionable.

The standout scene for me was when Alfred tells Bruce Wayne that he was leaving for good. Michael Caine admittedly has a small role throughout this movie, but he was in one of the most powerful scenes of the movie, where not only I praise his speech, but Christian Bale's reaction onscreen. While his face is stoic, you can see in his eyes that he is actually hurting inside. I was moved by this scene, so it made the later scene where Alfred is by the Wayne gravesite that more heartbreaking.

I warmed up to Joseph Gordon Levitt's character, so it would be nice to see him with his own spin-off. It would be interesting if they went with Nightwing (not so much a fan of Robin personally), but I gather they would want to change the tone of the series, so at least with JGL, it would not seem like an actual reboot.

At the beginning of the year, the two films I was looking forward to were Marvel's The Avengers (there is no way I'm referring that as "Avenger's Assemble", just because some rubbish film, based on an old TV series, that no-one remembers or cares about, took the name), and The Dark Knight Rises. I thought that by the end of the year, I would have to pick which one was my favourite of the two, and figured that both would be fighting for my favourite film of 2012. All I can say is, The Avengers wins by a longshot. Which is surprising, considering that I enjoyed the previous Dark Knight films more than the other Marvel films prior to the Avengers.

In closing, I can say I enjoyed TDKR, but when compared to TDK, it doesn't live up to its predecessor. That is quite disappointing, but then again, it's just another example of the third film in a trilogy being the weakest. Besides, it's not like it's Batman & Robin!

And on a final note.....

I think it's appropriate to end this blog entry with a piece of music by Hans Zimmer (who provided the music to The Dark Knight Trilogy) called "Aurora", which was dedicated to those who lost their lives at the shooting  spree during the premiere screening of TDKR in Aurora, Colorada.

Bat-Attack (Part One)

It has been over a fortnight since the release of The Dark Knight Rises, and so far I've seen the movie twice in the cinema, the second time on an "Isense" screen (which I think is supposed to be similar to Imax). To quickly summarise my opinion of the movie (as I'm leaving that for part two of these themed blog entries), I actually enjoyed the movie. It was a fitting end to the Nolan-era trilogy, and the film does stand out in its own right. However, there were some niggling issues I had with the movie, which I will touch upon in the aforementioned second part. I went into this movie without reading any reviews or watching any trailers.

So when I came back from the cinema, and let the nearly three hour experience sink in, I looked up some reviews and opinions of the movie. I was surprised how divided people were in their views, from calling it a classic to outright hating it. Even within the positive reviews, there were some criticisms of the plot and characters. The third movie in a trilogy usually gets a bad rap (see The Matrix Revolutions, The Godfather Part 3, Spiderman 3, to name but.....erm, 3), and The Dark Knight Rises is no exception. It doesn't help that it will always be overshadowed by the previous installment, The Dark Knight. But then again, all Batman movies have their share of criticisms, but the amount of criticism for this movie reminds me of another movie that also got a lot of flack, and coincidentally, also starred Bane. Of course, that movie was: Batman & Robin.

What would you prefer me to show? The Bat Nipples?

Now, I'm not here to pick apart the movie, because lets face it, everyone has at this point. What I'm going to do is explain how this film changed the way I viewed films from a critical standpoint. You see, when Batman & Robin came out, I was 16, so before then I viewed films in more simplistic terms: good, okay, bad. I guess you could say I was easy to please when it came to film. Back then I would have fond memories of Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom. Nowadays I would realize what a terrible movie it actually was, and can never understand why people hated ...The Crystal Skull so much, but not ...Temple Of Doom. But that's an entirely different argument.

I've always liked Batman, and I grew up watching the campy TV series, and I also loved the cartoon series in the early 90s, as well as the movies that came up during that time. In order to explain how I viewed movies back then compared to now, I will briefly run through my thoughts on the first four Batman movies (excluding the spin off from the TV show) when I first saw them, and what I think of them now:

Batman

Back then: Wow, what a movie! It's like the TV series, but more serious and kick ass! Batman is cool, Jack Nicholson is great as The Joker, the film looks cool, I love the action.....wait, Michael Keaton was also Beetlejuice?
And today: The film is still enjoyable today, and I appreciate it not only as a Batman movie, but also a movie from my youth. This, along with Beetlejuice, started my love for Tim Burton movies. If there is one drawback, it's that I can't help but compare this to the Nolan era Batman movies, especially when comparing Jack Nicholson and Heath Ledger. Both were fantastic in their role of the Joker in both their respective film, so I shy away from choosing which was the more superior Joker, because not only do I have difficulty in answering that question, I feel like I shouldn't.

Batman Returns

Back then: Wow, this movie is crazy looking but still cool! I really like Tim Burton, it's great to see Catwoman, and the Penguin.....what the hell? He is nothing like the TV series, and Danny DeVito looks demented.....I dig it!
And today: This movie is the definitive Tim Burton version of a Batman movie in my opinion. It has his signature dark, gothic displays, with menacing and sinister tones from the villains of the movie, especially The Penguin, which gave a whole new interpretation to the character that has always stuck with me. To this day when someone mentions The Penguin, I will always think of Danny DeVito as opposed to Burgess Meredith. I'm still surprised that the studio gave Burton so much free reign with this movie, which is very rare these days. And to throw in a typical "bloke" comment, you gotta love Michelle Pfeiffer in that Catwoman suit.

Batman Forever

Back then: Wow, I really enjoyed this movie! It's a lot brighter and colourful than the last one, and is more like the TV series, but I still like it. The soundtrack is awesome, Val Kilmer does a good job as Batman, Nicole Kidman actually looks hot, Jim Carrey is perfect as The Riddler, Two-Face has good taste in women.....but I preferred the cartoon version of Two-Face though.
And today: I know why people may give this film some criticism, in terms of direction and tone. But you have to remember the public reaction to these movies was different back then. I remember people complaining that the Tim Burton movies were too dark and at times violent, and so they welcomed a change that was more in line with the TV series of old, with a few nods to the cartoon series. I didn't mind the change Batman Forever took, infact I understood why, from a studio standpoint in terms of marketing, and from a viewer standpoint. I still enjoy the movie, and I still think Two-Face was a poor character (which is evident when you compare him to The Dark Knight version).

However I did develop one more complaint, and it was while looking at the deleted scenes, they cut out a story arc where Bruce Wayne had to fight his inner demons throughout the movie. After watching these scenes, I can't help but wonder if the studio left those scenes in, it would have made the film more credible. But I guess they wanted to move away from the drama based elements, in order to focus on the action and comedy aspects. One of those scenes involved him coming face to face with a giant bat, which was shown in the trailer, and I was confused back then as to why this was never shown in the actual movie.

And now we come to Batman & Robin. Believe it or not, I actually saw this film in the cinema FOUR times. It was after the fourth viewing that I finally realized what I thought of the movie. Now, I'm sure you can guess what my final verdict was. So I'm going to explain how I ended up watching this four times in the cinema, with a brief summary of what I thought after each viewing:

First Time

I brought my brother to the cinema as he too wanted to see Batman & Robin. I was really tired due to lack to sleep the night before, so I was trying my best to stay awake throughout the movie.

What did I think: it was good.....I think. Like I said, I was half asleep, so I planned on watching it again so I can have a better opinion of the movie.

Second Time

I was in England working in my cousin's bar, and he asked one of the barmen to bring me to the cinema, just for something for me to do.

What did I think: it was good.....I think. I was glad that I was able to watch it properly, but there was something about the movie that just didn't feel right with me. In tone it was similar to Batman Forever, but I wasn't crazy about it.

Third Time

Still in England, I went with my cousins to the cinema. Even though I saw it a week previously, I thought I may as well go again.

What did I think: considering the fact that it was a Batman movie, I wasn't too pushed on watching it again. This should have been the sign that made me realize what I thought of the movie, but once again, I was underwhelmed, but I did like it.....I think.

Fourth Time

To be honest, I don't know what possessed me to go into the cinema and watch it again. I was back home at the time, and I don't remember being accompanied by anyone. I don't know, maybe I was bored, or maybe I was hoping that this time around, I will find the same excitement I had when I watched the previous Batman movies.

What did I think: After FOUR times watching this movie, it finally hit me.....this movie is terrible.

I think my problem was that I really wanted to like this movie, whether it was being a slave to the hype, or I didn't want to admit that Batman has lost its way. But after the fourth viewing, without any distractions from other people, I was able to admit to myself that this movie was terrible. Back then if I was brought to the cinema, I wouldn't have dared say that the movie was terrible, incase it may have been interpreted as being rude.

Now that I was on my own, and paid for the ticket with my own money, I was able to have my own opinion, even if it wasn't shared by others who liked the movie back then. Whether they do now is another question, as I'm sure there were those who liked the movie when it came out, but would change their mind now, as if dictated by public opinion.

It has been well documented about the flaws of the movie, but there's no point in myself listing them all, since you've seen other people review it, or you have experienced it yourself. Hell, even Joel Schumacher admitted in the directors commentary some of the bad decisions he made. I don't think I can bring anything new to the table, although I did find it odd that George Clooney used his Bruce Wayne voice while disguised as Batman, while in the previous movie, Val Kilmer used his Batman voice while in the guise of Bruce Wayne. But hey, when it comes to voices, that's nothing compared to Christian Bale (again, I'm saving that for part 2).

Speaking of George Clooney, while I did not think he was great as Batman/Bruce Wayne, in a way I felt sorry for him. It was that summer that I also saw From Dusk Till Dawn, which at the time was banned in Ireland. I thought he kicked ass in that movie, because at that time, he was only known for his stint in ER. So I did feel bad that his career took a hit because of Batman & Robin. But of course, that wasn't enough to hurt his career. After all, he is an Oscar winner.

I was also reminded of the time when Alicia Silverstone was labelled fat by the media when the movie was released. This bore similarities in my mind of when Britney Spears made a failed comeback, and she too received fat jibes from the press. I never thought either of them were fat to begin with, but then again, I'm not a fan of the size zero craze.....okay I'm going a bit off topic here, considering the fact that I'm bringing nothing new here, so I better wrap this up.

Granted it was a summer blockbuster movie, a comic book movie, but it didn't change the fact that it wasn't a good movie, period. Since then, I have learned not to believe the hype when it comes to movies, especially blockbusters. Sure it may have turned me to a killjoy as I tend to be more critical nowadays, but I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing. If anything, it just proves my love for the medium of visual entertainment, and it shows I am passionate about it, and I do enjoy articulating my opinions on any movie I've seen.

And today: Batman & Robin is still a terrible movie. I wouldn't classify it as one of the worst movies I've ever seen, but I would put it up there with The Room and Birdemic as a film that is so bad, you can actually laugh about it. But what's amazing is that this movie has a near universal consensus that will always go down as not only the worst Batman movie, but one of the worst examples of film making. I own the movie on DVD, just so it can go with my collection of other Batman movies, but also as a reminder as to how this movie changed the way I view films as a whole.

And on a final note.....

I will end this blog entry with a somewhat funny anecdote. Last year I had a few mates in my gaff, just a small gathering involving movies, games and beers. I was looking for a film to put on, but not something where we have to concentrate on watching it. Just something to occasionally look at while having a conversation. I decided to put on Batman & Robin for a laugh. The final result: one by one, everybody started leaving my house. So there you have it kids, if you want to get rid of people in your place of residence, just stick on Batman & Robin.

Raw Is Fozzie

Okay, once again I'm at home, and without something meaningful or interesting to write about. So I may as well write a blog entry on something that I have an on-off interest with; wrestling. I can't remember when exactly I stopped watching it regularly, but I think it's around the time Hulk Hogan came into TNA and changed the ring from six sides to four, WWE was starting to push one of the Spirit Squad, in the form of Dolph Ziggler, and the rest of the ECW originals were being put to pasture. After that, I only get updated on current wrestling events from friends who still watch it, and the odd PPV, especially Royal Rumble.

I can't remember the last time I watched an entire episode of Raw, now that I'm not living at home, and have no access to Sky Sports. And it had gotten to a point that wrestling was starting to bore me to the point that I wasn't even interested in the computer games anymore, which I bought on a yearly basis, except for the last one. I started asking myself who half the the roster was nowadays, along with questioning why certain wrestlers still have a job (Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger, That Little Bastard Hornswaggle), and there was nothing to bring me back to watching wrestling on a regular basis.

But considering that it was the 1000th episode of Raw, and it was the first of its 3 hour long runtime, I was intrigued as to what the episode had to offer. As I'm in no way going to write an indepth review of the episode, considering it's almost one week old, and I have don't have the current knowledge of the programming anymore, I'm just gonna summarize what thoughts were going through my head while watching it.

D-X Reunion

The segment was the usual nostalgia mixed with self referential injokes, and I have no idea who the hell Damien Sandow is, but he seems to be good on the mike, so I have no problem with his character, even though it's been seen many times before (see Chris Nowinski, The Genius, and strangely enough, Hunter Hearst Helmsley).

I just thought it was funny that they brought everyone from D-X except Chyna. Then again, I don't think they can bring her in to promote the Avengers XXX movie.

And I thought the Playboy shoots were disturbing.

1st Match/JR cameo

I must say, I did not miss the constant plugs for BBQ sauce, or references to "slobberknockers", although I dig his goatee. And while I understand Y2J's role as enhancement talent these days, what with his commitments to Fozzy, I just wish it wasn't to push Dolph Ziggler. I'm sorry, but he will always be that guy from the male cheerleading squad.

WWE Tout

Ugh.....moving on.....

Charlie Sheen

Really? I don't know who is more desperate for publicity, Charlie Sheen or the WWE. Sure he's one step above Kevin Federline, but.....jeez.

2nd Match/Brodus Clay's Theme Tune

I'm sorry, but everytime I hear that tune, my mind goes back to Ernest "The Cat" Miller's unfortunate spell in WWE (see video below). But on the plus side, it's good to know that Jack Swagger has been reduced to jobber status. Now if only Dolph Ziggler would suffer the same fate.

The Wedding/The Rock

Okay the whole wedding angle has been done to death, but I guess it's something to end a current storyline, and I do get a kick out of seeing American Dragon.....I MEAN, Bryan Danielson.....I MEAN, Daniel Bryan, getting decent screen time, considering that match he had at Wrestlemania with Sheamus. I still don't know who he pissed off backstage to be reduced to a joke.

And I like the interaction between him, CM Punk and The Rock, and is a nice teaser for the Royal Rumble next year. As for AJ being the Raw general manager.....well, considering that the general manager thing has become a joke at this stage, I have no real opinion of it. Although I wish I saw the episode where The Muppets were the general managers.

3rd Match/Bret Hart cameo

Nice to see Bret Hart at the show, even if it was a bit pointless. As for The Miz being the Intercontinental Champion, well, I suppose they've always wanted to push him whenever possible, ever since his attempts at winning Tough Enough. Other than that, he doesn't bother me that much, but I think that's more to do with my lack of interest in the current wrestling product.

ANOTHER Triple H promo

This brought me back to the Evolution days, where Triple H would shite on for 20-30 minutes on Raw. I guess when you're the son in law of the owner of WWE, it's one of the perks. I do have some respect for Brock Lesnar, but he still looks like a baby in a sumo suit. But it was great to see Paul Heyman onscreen, as I always enjoyed his persona and his mic skills, along with respect for his writing not just with ECW, but when he was the writer on Smackdown.

Stone Cold vs McMahon segment

Hmm, maybe there's a reason why Steve Austin was not present, but I'm too lazy to do a Google Search to find out why.

Hornswaggle

Seriously, WHY is he still there?

4th Match/Legends

I only know of Heath Slater through watching one episode of NXT, and I guess he's doing the Randy Orton way of going against the "legends". But unsuccessfully from the looks of it. Whether he's supposed to be a joke, I'm not sure. But I do get a kick of seeing former wrestlers from the past throughout the show, and how could you not love Faarooq/Ron Simmons' contribution at the end?

As for Lita.....yeah, I still would.

Wocka Wocka Wocka!

And yes, I "popped" for the appearance of Fozzie Bear. Of all the wrestlers, new and old, along with the celebrity cameos, that have appeared so far, the one that brought a smile to my face, that filled my little heart with joy, was Fozzie. What can I say? I love the Muppets.

The Mini Edges

It's funny how one is still being pushed as a main character on the show (Zack Ryder), while the other (Curt Hawkins) seems to have been reduced to a lackey for Muhammad Hassan.....or whoever that guy in the turban was. Sweet jebus, have they not learned that this 80s stereotype doesn't work anymore? Especially after that attack on the Undertaker, which coincided with London bombings years ago? Speaking of the Undertaker.....

Brothers Of Destruction

Damned if I know if this was meant to be a match, but I've always liked The Undertaker and Kane, even if they did face off against a bunch of "jabronies".

Charlie Sheen vs Daniel Bryan?

.....REALLY?????

6th Match/Finale

Admittedly, I skipped towards the end of the match, as I didn't feel there was any point to watching a match where anyone could easily predict the outcome. So I skipped to the point where CM Punk attacked The Rock. Well, at least I know who will be squaring off then come Royal Rumble.

Verdict

I wondered how Raw would pull off a 3 hour show. So from what I gather, what they need to fill 3 hours is as follows:

• 30 minutes of actual wrestling
• 30 minutes of ads
• 2 hours of constant talking

Which is why I've never been a fan of the TV shows that WWE produce. If I wanted to watch actual wrestling, I'll just stick to the PPVs. But if the show is 3 hours long, how long will the PPVs be? And I'm also surprised Smackdown hasn't been scrapped as of yet, considering the constant interchanging of talent between the two shows.

And on a final note.....

Well, this has admittedly become a rubbish blog entry, but I'm tired and a little pissy, so I needed to do something to occupy my time. I was going to find a clip of what made me laugh during the show (as I need something to cheer me up at the moment), but I stumbled upon this advertisment for the 1000th episode. This should do the trick:

Midlife, Quarter-Life; crisis of definition

I felt this was going to happen.  I start off a blog with the intention of updating it every now and then, and now it has prematurely come to a halt. Well, since I'm stuck at home on a Saturday night, and I've completed "X-Men: Destiny" twice in the space of three days, I may as well write about something that I was meaning to write about. Despite the fact that I was meant to read up more on this topic, and I'm in danger of speaking from a personal standpoint, but I may as well type in a half "stream of consciousness" style, half posting referential links.

Around the time I hit 30, I had, for want of a better term, a midlife crisis. When I say "for want of a better term", after I told family, friends, people I cut out of my life (using the "midlife crisis" angle to reinforce my reasons for doing so), I had looked up the term "Midlife Crisis". Apparently I'm "too young" to be having one, and reading some articles on dealing with it always came up with the usual stereotypes, such as buying the fancy car, dressing differently, trying to recapture youth, and so forth. And these articles are directed at those with the family, kids, mortgage, career etc.

But I don't fall into that category at all. I feel old, now that I'm no longer in my twenties. I've been told by everyone (by which I mean family, friends, work colleagues) that I'm not old, that I'm making a big deal of being 30 ("it's only a number", "you're still young"). Do I feel old because I'm dissatisfied with my life? I guess so. But I'm sure those people who are in the 40s and 50s feel the same way, hence why they are permitted to suffer a "midlife crisis".

Image taken from "The Sun" website.
If they can "copy & paste" then so can I.

And before you ask "why don't you do something about it", in reference to my dissatisfaction with my life? Long story short: I made a plan around the time I hit 30, I hoped to make great strides by the end of this year, but I hit a few snags (relating to personal and health issues, along with some unfortunate circumstances), and now I've gone down not to square "1", but square "-100". So I'm just gonna leave it at that.

It was during this shitstorm that life, for whatever reason, loves to throw at me, that I read an article in the Metro Herald that people my age are now experiencing midlife crisis. So that gave me some sort of validation in my self prognosis in what I was currently experiencing. I began to find the article on the internet, but when I saw the article replicated on Fox News and The Irish Sun, I began to become skeptical. Especially with the last article, when the Sun just replaced "Australian" with "Irish" in the text.

It was during this time that I was introduced to the concept of Quarter-Life Crisis. I had never heard of the term before, but it seemed to be around for quite a while. So now I am comparing and contrasting these two depressing stages one may suffer in their lifetime, and I'm thinking to myself; do these even exist after all? Now, I'm not one of these people who would lambast a type of mental illness or disorder such as depression or seasonal affective disorder, saying that they don't exist. It's easy for people to criticise something that they have not experienced, or have no knowledge of. While I have never suffered from Coulrophobia, I would never give out about people who say they do.

And if I was to make fun of the subject, I would put it down to the titles themselves. If what I am going through is a midlife crisis, would that mean I'll die when I'm 60? But if it's a quarter-life crisis, does that mean I''ll die when I'm 120? Yes I'm being pedantic, but hey, I'm trying to inject a little bit of my sense of humour at this point, even if may be a little sarcastic. Maybe I should leave the jokes to this guy.

Apologies to those who suffer from Coulrophobia.

My reason for questioning the existence of these life crises, is that both of them are pretty similar, yet both are divided by age groups. I feel like I'm going through a midlife crisis, but if this is actually a quarter-life crisis, then I fucking dread to think what would happen when the actual midlife crisis happens. Call me skeptical, but the term "quarter-life crisis" sounds like it was invented by a hypochondriac who is making an excuse as to how their life has turned out. But the same can be said for those who are in the "proper" age group for the midlife crisis. 

Sure we all suffer setbacks, hardships and regrets in our lifetimes, to which the most critical of people would the cliched phrase, "that's life". But these can also result in a crisis of faith in ones self. Life is hard enough as it is, so much that it can be hard to put into words. Which is why I was comfortable with the term "midlife crisis", which gave me an understanding as to what I'm going through, which could develop the mindset that if I am unhappy with the first half of my life, then maybe I should do something about the second. But if I am actually going through a quarter-life crisis, then in my mind, I've a long way to go before the real pain in life begins.

So whatever it is that I'm going through, call it midlife crisis, call it quarter-life crisis; but I have a more fitting title for it.....a pain in the ass.

And on a final note.....

In an another attempt to inject some humour into this piece, even at this late stage, I'm gonna post my favourite Faith No More song. The title of this track is fitting after all.

Ten All American Videos!

Image found here:  http://thesocialgreen.com/2011/09/13/united-nonprofits-of-america/

Just thought I'd have a bit of fun, because it's July 4th. Which is.....

FUCK YEAH!

Gotta get me of of them.....or any nationality for that matter.....

Nothing more American than this guy.....well, except maybe The Punisher.....

No wait, I take that back.....

Here's something from America.....

I saw this in the cinema two days ago. I wonder if it's historically accurate.....

This guy is so American, even his name is Mr. America.....hmm, there's something oddly familiar about him.....

If that guy was Mr. America, then I say this woman should be Mrs. America. She may have turned 45 last Sunday, but I still would.....wait a minute, isn't she Canadian.....

And now, please rise for our National Anthem.....even though I'm not American.....

Wiki Chosen Album Review: "Ki-Oku" by DJ Krush & Toshinori Kondo

In an effort to keep this blog going, I am going to attempt to write an album review. I currently have an idea that originated from something I touched upon in my last blog entry. While I do have a record of some source material and references from the net (which brought me back to doing essays during my college years), it's something I would need a bit of time to write during a weekend, especially as I need to figure out how to go about it without giving too much away in terms of my private life. Also, I've been busy with work, birthdays, meeting old friends, weekend plans hospital visits and my ongoing battle with insomnia and disturbed sleep patterns. So, I decided to do something that came into my head a while back, but seems like a good idea for an article theme.

.....jeez, I hope to do away with these elongated intros once I have this blog up and running to some type of structure. Anyways, here is an explanation to the title of this blog entry.

A while back, I was thinking of how disillusioned by music nowadays, and how hard it is to find something that would interest me, whether it be newly released, or something from the past that I was never exposed to for some reason. In this day and age where the internet can provide you with music at the click of a button, legal or illegal, sometimes it's hard to know where to start. MTV has turned into a bunch of pointless reality shows that it's lost all meaning of its acronym (with it's only saving grace being re-runs of "Fresh Prince Of Bel Air".....yeah, go figure), and the music industry peddles out brainless, reality based talent shows knock-offs at an alarming rate. But I'm most likely telling you what you already know.

I know it's because I'm getting older, but for me, gone are the days of buying music magazines (which you could just read over the net), going to pubs and clubs (which play the same music every week), and taking recommendations from friends, when they either just end up either sticking with their old reliable tastes (people my age or older), or if their current taste just sounds like a load of crap (people younger than me). And I'm sure some of you may know what I'm talking about, so I won't elaborate any further.

That's all well and good, but get to the point already.....

A few days ago, I had an idea. While I was on Wikipedia, I hit the "random article" button, just to see what articles came up, which ranged from the lunar eclipse of January 1973, the Silver Age of comic books, and the plot of a Tom & Jerry cartoon. It gave me an idea that if I happen to stumble upon a Wikipedia page of a music album, no matter what artist or genre, I will (ahem) temporarily acquire the album through illegal means, with the intention of listening to it out of curiosity, with the possibility of purchasing said album if I deem it worthy enough to part ways with my hard earned euros. And so I clicked away, until finally, the first album page that came up was.....

No really, this album came up

.....yyyeeeaaahhh, I'm just gonna say that was a test run. So the first "proper" choice that came up was "Ki-Oku", a collaboration between two Japanese recording artists, DJ Krush and Toshinori Kondo.

What do I know of the artist(s)?

Absolutely nothing. I have never heard of the artists in questions, never mind their musical output, nor am I well versed in hip-hop (DJ Krush) nor jazz fusion (Toshinori Kondo).

And what did I think of the album?

With my initial reaction to stumbling upon this album's Wiki page, along with my lack of knowledge when it came to the artist and the genre, I must say I was surprised by the fact that I actually liked the album. The first few tracks, in particular "Toh-Sui", "Hah-Do" and "Mu-Chu", really caught my attention. Most of the tracks include a hyphen in the middle, with the exception of three interludes which include the word "Tobira" and their respective number after it, and "Sun Is Shining", which is a Bob Marley cover. The inclusion of this song is a tad bit confusing, while it is remade to fit the style of the album, it seems to be out of place when compared to the other tracks. I got the impression that this was to be released as a single, if this album was to have one.

While I did find the first half of the album listenable up to "Tobira-2", the second half left my mind wandering every now and them, with the tracks sounding directionless, therefore not grabbing my attention. Then again, I have only listened to the album a handful of times, one of which while I was on a bus on the way to work, and this is the only album of its kind that I have listened to, so I would say after a few more listens, maybe they would grow on me. But for now, I am writing purely on first impressions. The beats on this album are more in line with the "trip-hop" style of music, which bring up comparisons with Massive Attack and Wu-Tang Clan, if I was to think of similar artistic styles. The jazz trumpet sounds bring an interesting layer to a genre I would never think would mesh together properly, but I feel it does here.

What track would I recommend?

The opening track "Toh-Sui".

Would I buy this album?

The weird thing is, I would buy this album, even if possessing it would make me look like a pretentious music critic. Calling this album "a mixture of trip hop beats laced with jazz fusion sensibilities" sounds a bit snobbish while reading it out. The album also reminds me of something I would hear in either an arty coffee shop, or a high class trendy bar (well, if I can get past the bouncers who would not accept "my type" in that establishment). But I do think that I would play this album again, whether it be in the background while relaxing at home, or during another bus journey.

One slight problem though. It was hard enough to find this album to download, it seems even harder to actually buy a physical copy. I very much doubt that this album was released anywhere outside of Japan. According to Amazon, a new copy would cost me £35. There are second hand copies for sale, but for some reason, second hand goods cannot be sent to my home country. So I will have to make do with what I acquired from the internet. But for you folks reading this, you can check out the whole album below (courtesy of YouTube).

Brief Exodus From Facebook

For this blog entry, I shall be using the Blogger App for my phone, as part of my experiment for this site. This could be handy for situations where I may not have access to an actual PC (where I predict I may need to do further editing, such as spell checks and inserting YouTube videos). Or in this case, at times where I can't be bothered leaving my bed.

Not posted via mobile technology (see last paragraph)

I found this article on Google+ where the author talks about her reasons for deleting her Facebook account. There were a few interesting points, not all of them negative (considering the fact that I found this piece on an (unfortunately) unpopular alternative to Facebook.

It states how social network sites can enhance current relationships with friends, acquaintances and family members, but at the same time, gives other people a passive view into your own world through what you post. It also makes references to annoying functions of the site such as the timeline and the ever changing privacy settings. Even some of the comments at the end make interesting points about the reluctance of some people to add or delete people they don't really have much in common with

This article was of some interest to me, because sometime towards the end of May, I deleted all my friends off Facebook and deactivated my account.  My original plan was to periodically delete two groups of people from my friends list before I went away, and I will give the rest of my friends fair warning that I would deactivate my account. I planned to spend a year in a new country, giving me a fresh start in life, so I didn't want to waste time looking to what was going on in the country I was leaving. I am sick of home, so I don't to make myself homesick also.

Unfortunately my first choice of country hit a snag, coupled with a few stressful events which include personal, work and health issues, along with a disasterous trip to London, in which I finally snapped, and let loose some drunken tirade on Facebook.

Now I have done this quite a few times throughout the years on every social networking site I've ever been on. As for the nature of what I wrote, I genuinely can't remember, as I deleted the posts right away, without even looking at who commented on those status updates.

One of my closest friends said it wasn't really that bad, it's just something incoherent while drunk. But I was very embarrassed, because not only can friends and casual acquaintances read it, but so can family members and work colleagues. So as soon as I got to an internet kiosk in London Gatwick, I deleted everybody.
Ever since I got rid of my Facebook account, it made me notice a few things, especially what FB can mean to others.

Less than half an hour of cutting the online chord, I get a text message from one of my closest friends who was angry about my choice to delete her, wondering what exactly she did that made me come to that decision. I was very shocked, and had to text her, along with another friend who informed her of other things in my life that she may not have heard about, just so she knew what the whole story was. I admit I never gave full warning to everybody, especially my close friends. But in that state of mind, it was hard to think straight, and I was actually in tears as I didn't want to hurt one of my closest, dearest friends. Thankfully, while she may not have agreed with my actions, she understood why.

I was taken aback by this exchange in a way, because I always felt that friendship was more than an online profile. I had friends telling me about some video they saw on YouTube, or about some photos of a festival they were at. They were telling me to check them out, but then they followed this up with "oh wait, I forgot, you're not on Facebook anymore". Last night, someone sent me a text asked me when I was coming back to Facebook, because his birthday was coming up, and he couldn't invite me to an event page he created for it. Sincd he was texting me at the time, why didn't it occur to him to just TEXT me the details for his birthday?

Some people can really get offended once they find out someone hit the "unfriend" button on their profile. Which I can relate to, because I too once felt that way. I remember the feeling of rejection and sudden dismissal, the questions you ask yourself as to what you actually did to them, if anything, which made it harder to speak to these people if you ran into them in public.

Over the years, I try not to take it to heart, if it's some casual acquaintance you rarely talk to in the first place. But it is also hard when you thought you were on good terms with the person to begin with. And when it was someone who you thought you were good friends with, you do feel bitter. Like one person who I was friends with for years, but who I find out was making fun of me behind my back, complaining about a certain personality trait of mine that he also had (pot kettle black), maybe its best that I'm not connected to that two faced dumb fat fuck, and not waste my time writing an angry message to him.

But it was when I started deleting people that I got the full brunt from those who I deleted. I mentioned earlier that I planned to periodically deleted two groups of people before I went away. I got through one group at the turn of the new year. While there were some people who I never wanted to speak to again, there were others who were, bitterness aside, nice enough people, especially two who I still had regular contact with through Facebook.

In an effort to keep my private life away from this blog, I won't divulge any details as to who those individuals are. I'm sure most them noticed that I deleted them, whether they were offended or if they even gave a crap, I don't know. But I will assume that they won't talk to me ever again, which I can understand. Infact, I'd be confused if they did.

But I did get some personal messages asking why I deleted them, and I did try to explain to one of the two people I felt guilty for deleting (unfortunately it was after a gig and I was inebriated at the time). So I sent those people an email explaining my reasons as to why I deleted them, which I admitted were a bit brash, but I'd prefer to be honest and straight with them, and I genuinely wished them well in the future. And I apologised that, at this stage in my life, I didn't know I could have these people in my life at this time.

It's funny that over a month since I deleted my account, I don't really miss Facebook. It is annoying that I am not informed of any upcoming events (birthdays, gigs, etc), know what else is going on in other people's lives, and I feel bad for cutting off those who I rarely see nowadays, from old college colleagues to people I met while abroad. Hopefully there will be a time that I will be able to patch things up, but I will also have to accept rejection if that is not the case (y'know, the whole "made your bed" analogy).

I also noticed that I don't waste enough time on the internet, whether on PC or mobile, going through Facebook. Maybe this has become a blessing in disguise, which has lead me to concentrate on other things, whether it be work, exercise, film, or even this blog. If I do return to the evils of that particular social networking site, I hope I will not fall back into those old habits. In the meantime, if I get the urge to share something pointless over the net, I'll use Google+. Nobody else will read it, but if I was to imagine a comparision, it would be an alcoholic drinking a non-alcoholic beer.

Speaking of alcohol, no matter how many times I did it in the past, especially during that hellish London trip, I'm still surprised that, no matter how shitfaced I get, to the point that I can barely walk, let alone speak, I can still manage to log into Facebook, and all the others before that. How the fuck is that even possible? I will never know. Well thanks to my time away from Facebook, no drunken bollocks will be posted anytime soon. Even though I'm taking a break from it for a while, for a variety of reasons. One of which for health reasons, to see if I am able to lose weight. I'm actually seeing some improvement, so who knows, I might actually get rid of this beer belly after all.

But I'm starting to go off topic, so I better wrap this up. After I deleted my Facebook account, I did get some texts from people who noticed I was gone and wondered how I was. I appreciated those texts, along with the support from my close friends. So when I'm ready to go back to Facebook, I'll be sure to add them as a friend, if they'll have me. And hopefully I won't be in a position to go through this whole mess again.

For this last paragraph, I got out of bed, and logged onto my computer to see how writing on the app worked out.

On a final note, the Blogger App is okay, but you are not given any freedom to post images anywhere you want, the paragraphs are not even spaced out, and there is no function to post YouTube videos. Speaking of which, the selection from YouTube via the "insert a video" function is limited, compared to the actual YouTube site. Hence why I'm posting a live version of the song below, as opposed to the studio version. Lame.